


Closure

by fancyflautist



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Closure, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Missing Scene, Post-Episode: s01e14 The Christmas Invasion, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:36:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9483077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancyflautist/pseuds/fancyflautist
Summary: It was hard for her, standing by this man who is both a a best friend and a stranger. Luckily for her he knows just what she needs to deal with this new development.





	

"There's something you have to do Rose Tyler. We both know it." The Doctor said. "I remember it now, I had buried it away and set it to trigger when I regenerated. You need closure and there's only one way to get it. Where I'm taking you now, it's Sol 3: Earth. Do you remember the day I took you back for a couple days to visit your mother and then "left"? I actually stuck around. Go find me and do what you need to be okay again. I'm still me Rose, I swear. Go make everything better." He refused to let her see how much it hurt him that she couldn't accept him right away. Although, he supposed it was mostly his fault for not telling her that this could happen. She had no way of knowing.

Before she knew it he had hugged her tight and sent her out the door of the TARDIS. She didn't have time to say anything back. It was probably a good thing she didn't, she thought. She might have not been able to find the right words for her big ears and leather Doctor turned not-ginger pretty boy. She knew in her heart that they were the same man, but a shock like that… it was hard to go back to normal. In the midst of her thoughts and turmoil of emotions she bumped into someone.

"Sorry, sorry." She mumbled and went to turn away before a familiar hand caught her arm.

"Rose? Are you alright?" She snapped around quickly and after staring for a moment launched herself into his arms. "Rose—what's wrong? What happened?" When she pulled away she had tears in her eyes. He'd been afraid that when she found out he stayed here to look out for her she'd be mad.

"You... I can't." She buried her face into the familiar leather of his jacket and just sobbed.

"Shhh Rose, it's okay." He was extremely worried, but he also knew she wouldn't be able to talk until she calmed down. Even through his worry he sensed something… different about her. Something had changed in her and although buried deep he knew it was there.

"You saved me. You pulled the heart of the TARDIS out of me somehow" she was still fuzzy on the details of that. "And then the light… you said no one could survive it. And then you… exploded. You changed. You flew me home and collapsed. But then you weren't there for the invasion until the last second and you saved everyone and I know you're you but I just miss… this. This you. Why didn't you tell me?" She was speaking in fragments and run-ons in her sobs, but the Doctor was clever, as always, and understood the gist of it. This wasn't his Rose. This was a Rose from the future, a future where he had regenerated. She had taken in the heart of the TARDIS (he wasn't even going to begin to think of how she managed to survive that) and then he had taken it out of her to save her, sacrificing himself in the process.

"I'm so sorry Rose. I should have, but I couldn't. I didn't want to think that anything would ever change. And I didn't want to scare you, although I supposed that's the worst of the reasons. Regeneration… I suppose you could say it's like death, but it's really not because I still end up me. But it feels like it sometimes and it scares me as well. And although it's like a clean slate, a way to start fresh, I'm still me. I will always be me."

"I just don't want to lose you—I'm not ready. I thought you and me—this you and me— we'd travel forever." She whispered as he held her close.

"You haven't lost me Rose. I'm right on the TARDIS, wherever it's parked. It'll be okay. Go off and have thousands of more adventures with me. I might look different but that doesn't mean I'm different on the inside. Maybe a couple of different quirks but that's nothing. Go off and travel with me forever—through a thousand different faces if you have to. You'll leave me before I ever leave you." He grimaced a bit, but his face was buried in her hair so she couldn't see.

He knew that they'd be closer after this regeneration—after all she would be the first face his new face saw. He regenerated saving her, and, in his deepest soul, he cared about her above all else. Right now he couldn't bring himself to say the words that were how he really felt: he had been born of loss and pain after all. He was so afraid of it that he was paralyzed from sharing himself with her… but maybe the regeneration for her would change all of that. Maybe then he could bring himself to risk the pain and loss and really be alive with her, instead of running from how he felt all the time.

"Doctor… you'll be here if I need you right? If something ever happens and I have to learn to fly the TARDIS myself and come back and have you hold me again… I can still do that right? At some point in the timeline?"

"I should say no Rose. I should say it, time is such a tricky thing to play with. One wrong move and you have a paradox. But yes. Try your hardest not to—try to make your peace. Try to move on so you can live your life and be happy, but you know I will always be here. For you, I will always be here." He cut himself off—the words were too close to what he could never bear to say. "I won't remember this moment—I'm going to"

"Hide this memory away until you regenerate. That's what you said." She cut him off and a small smile spread across her face. "I really have to move on?"

"Just from this me. Go back to my future Rose, your present. And love every minute of it. I'll be right there by your side, I swear." He smiled at her.

"Thank you Doctor. Thank you." She gave him a tongue-in-teeth smile and squeezed his hands. "Oh, and make sure you keep your running shoes handy—this won't just be a quiet visit."

"Is it ever?" He shouted to her as she turned back towards the alley where the TARDIS was parked. As soon as she was out of sight he went back to his TARDIS to lock the memory of what just happened away. Knowing the future made it definite, but as long as he and Rose were together it was a future he could live with.

Rose opened the door to the TARDIS to see a nervous wreck of a Doctor.

"Rose! Are you okay? I remember, but I mean… Are you okay?" He had jumped up and rushed over to her as soon as she walked in.

"Doctor?" She asked one more time just to be sure, looking into his eyes and holding his hands tight.

"It's me Rose, I swear." He looked so desperate for her to believe him. She couldn't help but smile, because she did. And with that smile she leapt at him and held him in a tight hug.

"So where to now?" She laughed.

"Have you ever been to New York?" He asked and she shook her head. "Well then you'll get to see it in the future first. Next stop, New New York."

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted from FFN. I really liked this story, even though it's old, and also I wanted to get all my DW fics on one account.   
> I always felt like Rose needed closure, and after reading a fic called But What If by MishaRoseTennant I was struck with inspiration for this (2 years ago).


End file.
